Feedback

Really well done.

Not everything made it and that is a massive problem. It HAS to make air and if it hasn't, you have to have stuff to slot in instead.

Well presented, nicely read.

The headlines are incredibly important. They are the difference between someone watching and someone turning off.

Headline writing is an art. Try and make things more interesting to make people watch.

Gay couple - news is about people. How everything effects people. When you've got someone, make the most of it. But did not use them to their best potential "They've lived together for six years and would want to get married..."

Same problem with the musician.

Need a bit of narration, sequences and quotes that stress the human interests.

Write to pictures! "This winchester couple..." - Shot of Jesus

Cardinal - couldn't tell where he'd said his stuff. George PTC could have been more interestingly shot.

OOVs - seemed a bit disjointed. The second clip was a bit bizarre.

Sport - very good, though problem with OOV timing. 'Run of two defeats' - two isn't enough for a run?

Music man - could have had more fun with it, seen him chatting about his art and such. Needed more sequences with him, and the same can be said of the gay couple.

Don't be afraid of trying things different - don't get bogged down in the grammar of news, experiment and make more of what we've got. Human interest is more interesting than facts. Use natsot and all you've got from

Need to home in more on what would make our viewers watch.

Be a bit more imaginative. Experiment.

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Angus - Rachelle and Nicola, good job. Jenny - should not have left the gallery right before the bulletin.

Stitching it together is not how we should have done. All too comfy. We fell off air. Should never happen again.

Two weeks ago, last week, very good. This week all too soft.

Headlines - "Why this Winchester couple want to get married" didn't line up with pictures/quote quite.

Beckett story - Should not have tried to remember it all. Would have worked better. More of a conversation as Flick is telling the audience the story, does not have to be as structured or formal as a PTC.

Outrage over politicians - Louis O'brien - no local angle. If going to use 'outrage', 'riot', etc, we have to live up to these words. Otherwise, don't throw them around.

Link to gay marriage - say quotes were published in Telegraph and also Radio 4. Confusion! Get set up shots, give us more about them.

OOVs - 1st one - Got a moving object - plane moving, in the sky, etc. Simple but decent.

Sport OOV - redid it and made it worse, missed the beat.

Phrasing - 'clearly delighted', 'clearly frustrated', etc, find a better way of expressing in sports VOs.

Hockey - sound editing needs to be smoothed out.

And Finally - we need to actually need to say 'and finally'.

Don't need to say "thank you and goodbye". Thanks for what? Don't thank.

In sport, we can use less coverage and more features - olympic hopefuls and such.

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Brian - We must embrace the chaos of the news room on wednesday. Our complacency was the problem today.